Last week was very hard for me, one of the toughest so far. Tuesday May 22nd passed and so did Frances’s eighth month. The 22nd of every month is always sad for us, but still I held onto some hope that Friday would bring us good news. We are waiting for our adoption decree to be signed, certified and couriered to Hanoi. This is the final process that would end in a travel date. I was griping onto hope that Friday would bring us closer to bringing home Frances. I was then crushed when two other families were signed… but not ours. It broke my heart. I was very angry and sad.
It has been 8 months since we received our referral, 8 MONTHS!
I cried for every month that I have missed and will never know the joy of. It felt like the whole 8 months was weighing down on me, and I felt the loss very deeply.
We had made plans to have Thai dinner with our Portland friends, whom are also adopting through the same agency. I was so close to canceling. But I didn’t. I am so glad because we had a great time. One very strong tropical Mojito drink later, and I began to unwind. We then had some of the best Thai food I have ever experienced. Perhaps there is some restorative property of curry? Most likely it was the company! Towards the end of dinner we were all talking about an interesting place to visit, and someone said, “We will take the girls!” We all smiled. How can I convey to you how much that simple phrase meant to me? Instead of mourning all that we have lost it made me think of the very real and not to distant future in which we will hold our daughter in our arms. We have so much to look forward to.
It is amazing how the heart heals and protects itself. I am filled with optimism and hope once more. Soon she will be home and we will watch her grow, and I could pick up the phone and call M or Julie…and we could “take the girls” anywhere!
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She Stands!
Same dress, New picture May 1st 2007
8 comments:
I can't even remember where we said we'd take them, but I too remember saying that and being so happy. I'm glad you're in the good place again.
Also, by the way, sorry you got the short end of the "we pay, you pay" stick. I promise you can have three desserts each next time to make up for it!
It is amazing how during this process you can feel so down one day and then full of hopes again the next. I'm glad you're feeling better. I feel so fortuante to have made friends like you that support each other through all the ups and downs. Thanks! I love dreaming about all the fun places we'll take the girls together too. It won't be long...
I check your blog regularly and can't wait to hear your travel news. It won't be long, it CAN'T be long! I look forward to seeing pictures of Frances in your arms and pictures of Frances and 'Lovey' together!
Kara
(Julie's sister)
M
You guys were worth it! Thanks for making us laugh.
Julie & Kara,
I am still hoping that we are...clearing the path. Our initial wait was cake- I am so sorry that yours has not been, but am hoping that once you are connected to your daughter your wait for travel will be significantly shorter and less...traumatic.
-Dreaming about those fun places helps me stay positive. Once we have our girls, alot of this will melt away.
I am so sorry that you have been waiting so long to pick up your daughter. I can only magine how difficult it is. I hope you get good news soon! And in the meantime, glad that mojitos, great Thai food, and good friends make the wait more bearable!
Each day is getting you closer to her...that's what I keep saying to myself :) I hope things get moving! (thanks for the comment)
I'm sorry my family was part of what made you sad... I told M that I was really sad it wasn't you guys and us... I think "the girls" will have to make room for "one boy" because Mr Peanut and his entourage are definitely making a trip NW - maybe next summer...
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