Curry heals broken heart

Last week was very hard for me, one of the toughest so far. Tuesday May 22nd passed and so did Frances’s eighth month. The 22nd of every month is always sad for us, but still I held onto some hope that Friday would bring us good news. We are waiting for our adoption decree to be signed, certified and couriered to Hanoi. This is the final process that would end in a travel date. I was griping onto hope that Friday would bring us closer to bringing home Frances. I was then crushed when two other families were signed… but not ours. It broke my heart. I was very angry and sad.


It has been 8 months since we received our referral, 8 MONTHS!
I cried for every month that I have missed and will never know the joy of. It felt like the whole 8 months was weighing down on me, and I felt the loss very deeply.

We had made plans to have Thai dinner with our Portland friends, whom are also adopting through the same agency. I was so close to canceling. But I didn’t. I am so glad because we had a great time. One very strong tropical Mojito drink later, and I began to unwind. We then had some of the best Thai food I have ever experienced. Perhaps there is some restorative property of curry? Most likely it was the company! Towards the end of dinner we were all talking about an interesting place to visit, and someone said, “We will take the girls!” We all smiled. How can I convey to you how much that simple phrase meant to me? Instead of mourning all that we have lost it made me think of the very real and not to distant future in which we will hold our daughter in our arms. We have so much to look forward to.

It is amazing how the heart heals and protects itself. I am filled with optimism and hope once more. Soon she will be home and we will watch her grow, and I could pick up the phone and call M or Julie…and we could “take the girls” anywhere!

...more delays and I'm Okay

We are waiting for the provincial government to sign important paperwork. First it was going to be signed on Tuesday... then today... now maybe Monday! There were 9 families waiting for this step, now only 7. I am disappointed that they did not sign all 9.
But I am feeling strangely calm about everything. I keep thinking that I will be Frances Mom by next month. I feel that it is going to happen very soon. My gut tells me we will be in Vietnam NEXT month and have a travel date THIS month.
Basically I need to not worry about it anymore. My worry won't make her come home any faster. I am going to try and relax...
I am going to concentrate on... baby care books, our house projects, who is going to win 'Survivor', and what is going on with 'Lost'...
Man I love those two shows. Survivor started out ho hum, but has really kicked it into gear. And what is not to love about Lost? Tropical beach, paranormal intrigue and mystery- I love it.
My 'gut' better not break my heart!

On May 1st 2007 She Smiles!

Are hearts are full as we see new pictures of Frances. Finally we get to see a little smile! Now we just need to hear her giggle. Hopefully it won't be too far off. Our agency has their first family in Vietnam as we speak completing their adoption. Things do seem to be finally moving along and we should be one of the next families to go. We will keep you updated. But until then, She Stands! She smiles!